Five Things Methos Will Never Tell
by Rhianona
Summary: Five things Methos has no intention of ever telling anyone.


_**Disclaimer: **_Highlander doesn't belong to me.

_**Spoilers: **_Vague ones through _Modern Prometheus_.

* * *

Five things Methos will never explain:

1. He once told MacLeod that Cassandra was "one of a thousand regrets." He knows the Highlander thinks he regrets what he did to her. The Scot couldn't be further from the truth. In a purely academic sense, he does regret that he killed her and her encampment, that he forced her to his bed, that he didn't protect her from Kronos. But she forgets what life was like 3000 years ago. Civilization was nascent and confined to a small portion of the world. You were king or slave, free or beholden to others for protection. You lived and died by others' pleasure. He didn't treat her any worse than any other slave he owned - and probably a great deal better because he had genuinely liked her for a time. So really in the end, he doesn't regret that he was the instrument of her becoming Immortal.

He does regret letting her live. He regrets that she reminded him of who he used to be. He regrets that she reunited the Four Horsemen through her hatred. He regrets that she wouldn't just let it lie in the past like it belongs. He regrets that she forced him to make a choice between his new friend and his fellow Horsemen. Most of all, he regrets destroying his brothers.

There are some days (most days if he's honest with himself) he's not just not that sure it was worth it.

2. MacLeod and Dawson don't know how close they came to dying "mysterious" deaths after Kalas almost exposed him to all and sundry. A part of him was flattered that MacLeod had figured out who he was by just meeting him. But then the Highlander went and _told_ his watcher just who "Adam Pierson" was. Only the fact that Joe keeps quiet about it and doesn't demand answers from him when they meet up again, stays Methos' hand.

Well that, and James Horton and his merry band of Hunters. Methos knows that if he had executed Dawson and taken MacLeod's head, he would have had every Hunter - Immortal and Mortal - on his trail, ready to avenge his actions. Too soon after Mortals took Immortal heads, and Dawson had been too vocal in that incident to allow the Watchers to keep quiet should the man turn up dead.

And he's getting too old to do without his comforts. The safest places to disappear are often the places that lack modern amenities.

But the thing is, Methos would have killed to keep his identity safe - has done so in the past. It doesn't really bother him. He would hate to kill Joe - he's actually quite fond of the bluesman - and Darius isn't the only one he knew (or knows) that trumpets MacLeod as the "One." On the other hand, he hasn't survived over 5000 years to let some Highland babe who can't keep his mouth _shut _destroy his myth.

In reality, if Joe Dawson hadn't kept quiet, Methos knows he would have killed them both and disappeared as fully as possible. The Highlander should be thankful his Watcher knows how to keep quiet. Maybe one day the Scot will take lessons.

Methos doesn't actually believe it will ever happen.

3. He started the Watchers. He's pretty sure Joe suspects, but he doesn't come close to figuring out why. The Watchers began as his servants, men and women he trained to keep watch over his journals and books and other belongings. He didn't create them to watch over other Immortals. It wasn't until some Immortal friends of his asked if they could store their writings and books and other treasures with his servants that the core of the Watcher library came into being.

He'll never tell these modern Watchers that though - they would be horrified.

The basic rules he set down for the Watchers result from his own experiences. The "watch but never interfere" one came into being after one of his servants - fearful that a challenger was about to take Methos' life - threw himself on the other Immortal's sword. Methos had killed his challenger, mourned the death of his servant and immediately implemented the rule.

See - he really does value Mortal's lives.

He had a retinue of servants that followed him and recorded his exploits for a while - that was the responsible for "observe and record." Of course, everyone who could afford it at the time, did the same, so it wasn't as if he was unique.

Over time, he began to include in his libraries whatever he found from his enemies and challengers. And then his servants no longer knew what he looked like and began to forget their original purpose (to protect his books and journals) and instead just followed the rules he had set down for their safety.

He's grown amused by all this.

He's also really tired of the bureaucratic mess that masquerades as the Watcher Organization. In recent years, he's come close to completely purging the ranks of the Watchers and starting over. Only the knowledge that he needs to make sure that he has copies (or the originals) of all that the Watchers currently have on him and some select friends has prevented him from acting on that. Also those damned Hunters.

Actually, James Horton has completely ruined his plans for the Watchers for a good few decades. He wishes he could resurrect him and torture him for that. Or, that he could give him to Kronos and Caspian to "play" with - they were both good at something like that. He's hoping that something will happen soon that will allow him to take advantage and get rid of - or at least seriously handicap - the Watchers.

He's still waiting.

4. When he goes off on his trips, leaving MacLeod and Dawson, he's not running away. Well not most of the time. Mac seems unable to comprehend that Methos has lived for five millennia and has friends and obligations that extend beyond the Highlander's social crust. Of course, Mac has more friends than sense, but Methos does have friends that extend beyond Kronos and Caspian and Silas and Byron. And one day, he would love to introduce them to the Highlander and have the Highlander _not_ kill them.

He's not really holding his breath on that one.

At any rate, when he leaves Paris or Seacouver or wherever it is that Mac is based out of at the moment, he usually leaves for a specific purpose: a friend in need, a check on one of his estates, supervising his libraries, translating an important document for a government or university or foundation, or really, any of a myriad of obligations that Methos has that extend beyond his friendship with one Duncan MacLeod.

Not that he doesn't run when it's best for him. He hasn't survived as long as he has by staying put in one place and declaring to one and all just who he is. Just the opposite in fact.

Still, the impression that he is running away gives him an advantage he's not willing to lose just yet. Let MacLeod think he's more apt to run when things get tough. One day he'll surprise the Highlander.

5. Contrary to popular belief - and having heard Joe and Richie and Amanda and even the gods damned de Valicourts speculate about it - he doesn't hang around Mac in the hope the other will give up his heterosexual nature and sleep with him. Not that he would mind if Mac expressed an interest in doing so, but he certainly isn't so desperate to hang around a guy for sex.

At least not in recent centuries.

No, his interest in one Duncan MacLeod stems from trying to figure out just what so many of his friends see in the man. The list of Immortals that think Mac is set to win the Game seems to be an ever growing one. It's the main reason he doesn't run when Joe told him he was sending the Highlander to protect him.

He's always been far too curious for his own good.

And yes, sometimes he sees the hints of what appealed to Darius and Rebecca and Fitz and Amanda and Grace and a number of other Immortals that Methos knows at least tangentially, if not very well. But Mac frustrates the hell out of him, and he doesn't understand why so many Immortals think he's going to win the prize when he's just so very _rigid_.

Curiosity doesn't explain why he continues to hang around Mac. That answer is far more complicated and Methos doesn't know if he completely understands it himself. What he does know is that Mac has re-ignited _something_ inside of him. For centuries, he's hidden amongst Mortals - with the occasional forays into Immortal society. The Highlander loves to add Immortals to his collection of friends and in the last few years, Methos has socialized with more Immortals than he has in a really long time.

It thrills him.

More importantly, Mac provides Methos with entertainment. Even when he wants to kill the other Immortal, Methos can't help but feel a deep vein of amusement at the twists and turns his life has taken. And he knows at some point he'll get bored with the chaos and drama that is Duncan MacLeod's life and disappear into the mists of legend once again. But until then, Methos is happy to orbit the Highlander and see where his life goes next.


End file.
